Friday, March 19, 2010

Funny Invoice

Recently my keyboard's 'n' key died on me, and I had to get a new one. So, I had my admin order one for me (oddly we didn't have any spares!). So an order is placed with some vendor (thereafter referred to as Smart-Beeeep). The keyboard arrives in time... but what set me off laughing aloud alone in the office for a while was this freaking stupid notice on the keyboard box:

What? You didn't notice? Well, read it again. Don't you find something amiss! Well, sure you must. I'm not a legal-buff, but this piqued my interest:
Before You Open Any Packages:
- Please verify contents...

How the heck am I going to see what's in the package WITHOUT opening it! I had a good laugh alone in the office, pondering the legalese nonsense perpetrated here. The fear of litigation here (by here in mean US of A) is soooooo high, that everybody's first order of business is to Cover-My-Own-Ass first, everything else is secondary. If you observe closely this is _the_ basic premise of any business done here, that is what it boils down to: from health care through real-estate through such menial package deliveries.

Digging deeper, what this notice means is that if I had found anything but keyboard in the keyboard box, legally I can't touch the vendor! Why, because I violated the contract of NOT checking the contents before opening the package! Doesn't matter that it is humanly impossible (most of us don't have super-human abilities to see through a box!), what matters is I didn't follow the instructions! The only way to comply with this is to buy one of those fancy X-ray body scanning machines they are putting up at airports!
Given I somehow smuggle one of those huge x-ray machines out of airport and do find what I don't expect to find in the sealed package, what follows next on the invoice are instructions on return policy!